When Your Foundation Crumbles

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today we have a very special post from Beth White. While we are a financial blog (of sorts), we continually try to acknowledge that our sense of hope, peace, or contentment is not found in our financial circumstances — they are found in our Father. Beth’s transparent post about a difficult time in her life reminds us that when life falls apart (financially or otherwise) our sense of hope for the future can always be found in the person of Jesus. Beth’s story is a good reminder of what it looks like to learn to trust God more deeply out of painful circumstances. I hope you will be as blessed by this post as we are.

I vividly remember the day my parents told me they were getting divorced. At this time, I was in 8th grade, and I had gotten home from school and gone outside to enjoy the beautiful weather and do my homework. Not long into my reading, some family friends pulled into our driveway. I was excited to see them until I saw the solemn look on their faces. My parents and one of my brothers came out of the house and formed a circle with all who were present. The words I had been dreading slowly spilled out of those around me. “Your parents are getting divorced.” Tears welled up in my eyes. Everything I had known was swept out from under me. Uncertainty was all I saw.

During the months following, I experienced pain like nothing I had ever known. I would lay in bed crying myself to sleep while listening to the song “Beauty from Pain” by Superchick. I would hide in the bathtub of our shower to shut everything out for just one moment. I would sit in the fetal position in the corner of my bedroom rocking myself in an attempt to comfort myself wondering what there was to live for. During these moments, I exclaimed to God, “Why? This hurts so bad!”

In a small still voice, I heard His reply, “Beth, trust Me. I love you, and I will take care of you.” What followed were these numerous verses.

  • Joshua 1:9 – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
  • Psalm 9:10 – “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
  • Psalm 31:14 – “But I trust in you Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’”
  • Psalm 56:3 – “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
  • Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Now don’t think that trusting always came easily after finding these verses. In fact, the challenges seemed to mount. The year after my parents’ divorce, my dad was told he should have died from blood clots in his lungs, and the year after that, my mom was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. By the time those three years ended, I felt numb. You probably could have pinched me, and I wouldn’t have felt it. But, thankfully God had reassured me from the beginning of this painful journey that He would care for me. I just had to grab His hand and trust Him as he guided me.

While I would never wish these unfortunate events upon anyone else, I learned so much that has helped me to continue to hold onto God as I look at the uncertainty ahead of me. Currently in my life, I find myself contemplating how I would respond if everything was taken away from me in a natural disaster. I think about what life would be like if a war broke out on U.S. soil. I dread another move which would require me to build a new support system of friends and find another good job. And I, selfishly, fear the sacrifice that will be required when I have children and may not work. There will never cease to be uncertainty in our lives, but there is the promise that Christ will never leave us nor forsake us. Through Christ’s strength, we can move forward confidently and rest on this promise.